If you feel the need to continue reading, we cannot stop you from doing so due to the architecture of the world wide web. Nevertheless, we will do our best to make your stay on our website as uncomfortable as possible and we urge you to stay away from it in the future!
„Rautavistics is the science of the rautavistic things”
We're happy to help you concerning your rautavistic software projects, -architectures, -procedures, -development, -programming and last but not least, your rautavistic software product. Also we're very well versed in IrT (Internet rautavistical Things). The deployment of this online-presentation as well as our services themselves are underlying the rautavism as well. Therefore we always grant a negligible and still reducable quality!
If you have no prior knowledge of rautavistics, you're probably in the wrong place. Then our recommendation for you is to matriculate at the Rautavistischen Universität Eschweilerhof, or at least to read in the topic
Please understand that this online presentation is still under construction and that no complete roadmap has been developed yet. We don't really have a plan either, but at least we're honest!
If you need a roadmap, you will surely find one on https://www.openstreetmap.org.
- improvisation, integration, iteration, iteration and iteration of unnecessary tasks
- development and utilization of worst-practices
- rautavistic software documentation
- repititive, contextless and no sourcecode comments
- generation of random code segments incl. disposal of results
- application of tools interfering the workflow and limiting the possibilities
- manual build- and deployment systems as well as fake-monitoring
- unsemantic versioning: constant and random version numbers
- creating half knowledge and irreplaceable components
- placing of rautavistic variable-, class- and method-names
- implementation of multilingual sourcecode
- inefficient reimplementation of native functions
- exotic programming languages and badly documented frameworks
- reduction of readability and maintainability using rerefactoring
- Development and operation of Continuous Disintegration
- Possibilities of runtime-deterioration
- Increased hardware load for client and server
- Methods to waste disk usage
- Forcing worst-case scenarios
- Symptom handling instead of problem analysis: quickhacks and workarounds
- Design of a sweeping user interface
- Development of algorithms that do absolutely nothing
- Implementation of anti-pattern
- Draft of a nerve-racking user experience
- Random exceptions and output of disinformative error messages
- Integration of unused software libraries
- Loading time and cost maximization through traffic wasting
- Extend vulnerabilities by using outdated packages
- Use of public code sandboxes to secure sensitive data
- Customer loyalty through trust: Always trust the user input
- We abduct your data protection officer (EU-DSGVO compliant)
We are always trying to gain new insights to keep them for us. You are also welcome to ask for studies or to submit requests for the development of highly specialized methods, procedures and products of which no one benefits, on the contrary.
We support you with your software projects and advise your employees from the management level to the template frickler. If requested, we offer individual coaching as well as kick start and intensive workshops for larger groups. We also do not lecture at prestigious conferences and in user groups. If you are interested, please contact someone else!
It is really pretty right? Bling Bling! Everyone likes diamonds! And if not, you can still sell it.Read more
a Revolving Door
Chuck Norris can hit revolving doors. It's not the best Chuck Norris joke, but it fits the icon!Read more
Hours of Support
I like to rock my testicles and the BSfrS did not do much more. Really relaxing, gladly again!
I love to hang my testicles in a glass of hot water, but the Consulting Center for rautavistic Software has little to do with that ...
What can I say, I love testicles. Especially the ones of Anton Müller, who always giggles when I touch him there.
I have an ulcer on my testicles, but thanks to the BSfrS, I quickly come up with other ideas and let the therapy grind.
We do not even know these people at all, but we think that their portraits are doing pretty well here, no?
Andreas LindenHead of BSfrS & Consultant
Willfried SchmitzFeelgood Manager
Our most dissatisfied customers
We have taken special care of these customers. Everything we had to do was either ignored, not done, or we just did something else. Some of our customers do not even know that we have no contract with them.