We make sure that you and your employees become unproductive!
Rautavistic software development should above all be fun, which is why we focus on reducing the productivity of your employees by minimizing the quality of their development processes. In order to achieve this, we at BSfrS have developed various highly effective procedures and methods. We apply these in our own organisation and can therefore report from our own experience that if these practices are strictly applied, virtually nothing will work.
Improvisation, integration, iteration, iteration and iteration of unnecessary tasks:
An easy to learn method for productivity minimization is improvising unnecessary work steps. So just spontaneously do something other than what you're supposed to do. Extensive coffee and lunch breaks are a good start, but surfing the net, chatting and video streaming are also very good alternatives.
As soon as you have managed to regularly integrate unnecessary work steps into their everyday lives, you can further significantly reduce productivity by iterating over them. The number of repetitions is up to you, but the rule of thumb is: the more, the better, because repetitive actions calm you down immensely! Recursive workflows have also proven to be most effective when it comes to reducing work performance.
Avoid using collaboration and ticketing systems like JIRA, Mantis, trac or Trello. These only distract you from improvising and prevent one and the same task from being performed simultaneously by several employees.
Version Control Systems
In this context, the use of software version management systems is strictly discouraged. Unfortunately, these systems prevent that work results get lost and they have to write the same code several times. Working via (S)FTP, SSH or SCP, directly at the open heart of your production system has proven to be extremely exciting when working in a larger team: Feel the thrill of these operations and pat yourself on the shoulder if the patient survives! If you still can't stop working with versioning, it's often a good idea to use commands like git checkout . or git reset --hard HEAD^^^^^^ and git push --force.
It is advisable to use many different editors and IDEs both alternately and in parallel. This way you will get to know new tools and you will at least waste some space on your drive.
In future edit your source code with Notepad, VistualStudio, on the commandline and, although we advise against it, if you use a version management with web interface, please feel free to do so here. At best, open the same file simultaneously in several editors to overwrite the changes of the additional instances with full intention and reduce your own productivity!
Further services which we will deal with in more detail in the future:
- development und utilization of worst-practices
- rautavistic software documentation
- repititive, contextless and no sourcecode comments
- generation of random code segments incl. disposal of results
- application of tools interfering the workflow and limiting the possibilities
- manual build- and deployment systems as well as fake-monitoring
- unsemantic versioning: constant und random version numbers
- creating half knowledge and irreplaceable components
- placing of rautavistic variable-, class- and method-names
- implementation of multilingual sourcecode
- inefficient reimplementation of native functions
- exotic programming languages and badly documented frameworks
- reduction of readability and maintainability using rerefactoring